CT Families Struggle Harder Than Ever

The purpose of my article today is to take pause and remember the difficulty faced by single parent homes in Connecticut. This is an issue that is very close to my heart as I have experienced the issues that divided and broken families can face. The Connecticut Family dynamic has been changing and children are the ones being impacted the most. From the ‘80s until now, the increase in single parent homes has been well in excess of 30 percent. Over 3/4 of those are female-headed.

According to the most recent Census Bureau statistics, 35 percent of those living in poverty in Connecticut are children under 18 years of age. Even more acute is the fact that 52 percent of female householder families with related children under 5 years of age are living in poverty.

What to make of these statistics. To most, numbers paint a picture of simple lifeless accounting. These numbers however, ignore the the feelings of neglect that many children feel after a home is broken. While the Connecticut Family court system allows any parent to buy their way out of court troubles, the reality is that the money does little to nothing to satisfy the "emptiness" that children feel. While there are several ways to collect on financial arrears, now to include your Passport to the list, there are virtually no like ways to combat "Parental Alienation Syndrome" or in lay terms the deliberate psychological destruction of another parent through the use of a parents love for their child. When that love is denied by another parent due to revenge or hatred the downward psychological spiral of the non custodial parent often leads to Depression, Debt, Unemployment and in many cases Incarceration.

Many new studies are discovering that women are 3 times more likely to initiate violence in their homes. This will be a shock for many and I am sure a concerted effort will be made to debunk this but here is the research: http://www.csulb.edu/~mfiebert/assault.htm. This research is also true for women being the main initiators of divorce, and ultimately a choice that land them living in poverty. My point here is not to point fingers or say that Men are better than Women, because I am neither interested nor concerned with anything other than to discover the complex issues that undermine our State, our Community and our Families.

The question here is not what to do about the generation of people who already have a broken family, or what to do about children in counseling and on psych meds, but to challenge you and the next generation of children to come up with the solutions required to solve "Parental Alienation." The goal and desires I have for our state is to reduce the 30% non H.S. graduation rate, a rate that is as high as 50% for poor families, and reduce the chances that child victims of "Parental Alienation" do not become the next generation of Connecticut's Felons. Steven Levitt author of the book "Freakanomics" actually has gone so far to say that abortion from the 1970's to today is largely responsible for the decline in the high crime rates our nation once had. Many people may remember the city of Bridgeport just a few miles down the road as being the "Murder Capitol" of CT back in the 90's. Good family policy will determine that those days never occur again.

While I respect Levitt as a researcher and author I must agree in protest and with a great deal of disbelief. I will not go so far as to call him wrong but I will say that when abortion becomes a way of reducing crime it is a real wake up call to the state of crisis our families are facing. These issues are very complex, and while sociology of the family can comprise volumes of information in and of itself, I will begin to conclude this article with my support of reforms that I believe will make improvements within the American family.

To begin the future generation of children are going to be skeptical of marriage, and quite favorably the birth rate in CT has been on the decline over the last several decades for numerous reasons. This new generation of families will mostly come from divorced homes and will have a rather uninformed view of what makes a relationship work. These kids need to be given a "heads up" a State test that accurately predicts the future compatibility of a couple. To see a description of a compatibility test go to this link: http://kevan.org/froytest. The second phase should be to require a prenuptial agreement prior to getting married. I believe that this is easier to achieve when things are good, and if monetary issues are to arise it is better to break up over a Prenup than after the wedding and in court. If like many you do not believe in marriage a "Child support and rearing agreement" should be required prior to receiving any prenatal care. If all fails and none of this is achievable due to extreme circumstances state aid should be made available to single custodial parents. Such aid should include Daycare, Rent, Energy assistance, and employment opportunities. This help should be paid back to the State by the parents after the youngest child reaches the age of 18. I believe that such aid should be a generous "hand up" not a "hand out."